Who Put the Cold in California?

Dear Diary,

I am slowly freezing to death in California.  We are having record lows, here.  It was 32 degrees this morning.  What's up with that?  Houses, here, are seriously lacking in insulation so my heater has been running non-stop for the last several days.  I don't even want to see what the gas bill is gonna be.  We have solar power - our electric bill is a big fat zero.  Maybe we need to convert our heating to electric.  I have a bean bag chair that I move around the house to all the sunny spots.  I can almost feel my fingers to type when I sit in the sun.  I looked up the temperature in Minnesota.  30 degrees there.  I think I need relatives in the very southern tip of Florida.  Just until it warms back up, here.  Meanwhile, I am wearing the long underwear I purchased during my visit to Minnesota a few weeks ago.

Ocean Thanksgiving

Dear Diary,

My dad has been in my dreams every night for the last week.  Typically, I dream bizarre to nightmare like dreams.  These ones with my dad are peaceful - I even had a dream my family was gathered together and watching home movies of dad.  I'm taking this as a message that he is at peace now.  This is my first Thanksgiving without my three kids.  They are all grown up.  I sure am proud of them.  Went to the beach with my hubby, this morning, to watch the waves.  Life is good, today!

Home at Last

Dear Diary,

Would anyone care if I took a bath and pajama'd up - then refused to leave my bed until tomorrow?  I am so happy to be home.  It feels like it's been forever.  We saw a sign in California that said 'next gas in sixteen miles' and laughed.  In Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada the signs say 'next gas in eighty miles'.  Who can't wait sixteen more miles?  Eighty seems more dire, especially if you are drinking plenty of water to stay hydrated.  I never realized how dense the traffic was in California.  Everywhere else, you pass cars and they pass you on two wide lanes of the interstate.  Here, you are bumper to bumper across six narrow lanes and are hoping nobody cuts you off before you cross over to your exit.  We exited the I-880 for a trip down 17 and when I saw the ocean (and escaped city traffic) near my little town of Marina, I was at peace, once again.  I am so happy to be home!

99 Bottles of Beer

Dear Diary,

I am happy to have survived another day.  I didn't think our travel conditions could have been worse than yesterday.  I was wrong.  Black ice with 50+ mile per hour gusts for nearly eighty miles.  Cars were in ditches and semis were skidding.  Trying to go back was scarier than pressing on.  I will forever hold my breath while crossing bridges.  Our car skidded sideways on every one until the temp hit 36 degrees.  It takes 35 minutes to complete one rendition of '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall'.  At 80mph, we went 34 miles for one round.  It took four rounds to get from the Utah/Nevada border to Elko, Nevada.  No geese were sighted today.

90% Chance of Icy Roads

Dear Diary,

Road conditions are snowy with a 90% chance of ice.  Is it still called black ice if the pavement is reddish-brown?  We stopped at Wheatland, Wyoming for coffee and my door was frozen shut.  Fifty miles from Laramie and I'm thinking of causing bodily harm to my husband.  I'd do it but then I'd have to drive in this stuff.  We can't even see the road . . . we are navigating by those reflective posts on the sides.  Goose count, today, was 39.  Maybe they were smarter than we were.

Into the Eye of the Storm

Dear Diary,

South Dakota cows do not look like happy cows in this snow.  I saw two coyotes on a hill above those cows - do they eat cow?  Were they thinking burgers like I was?  In case we haven't noticed the tires slipping beneath us, South Dakota has generously posted signs telling us the roads are slippery.  I have developed a bad case of dowannasititis!

South Dakota Sunsets

Dear Diary,

The geese were racing us south, yesterday.  I counted nearly 2,000 before it was too dark to see them.  South Dakota sunsets are different than anywhere else - I'm thinking it's the lack of trees and hills.  We smelled severe cow odors after dark - the cows may think they were being stealthy, but I was more than happy not to see them.  Semi trucks light up like Christmas trees at night - some had really cool patterns.  There are some things you can't unsee...at 5:30am there was no snow . . . at 7:30am is was back to blizzard conditions . . . le sigh!

The Great Escape

Dear Diary,

Our escape from Minnesota was not an easy endeavor.  We latched onto a convoy of cars heading southwest.  At times, visibility was so low that we could barely see the outline of the car in front of us.  Wind was strong and gusty (15-30 mph) and roads were randomly icy.  Our convoy went so slow, at times, that a wagon train could have passed us.  When we broke off for gas, we had to break huge ice chunks off our car - especially around the wheels.  Gas is $1.83/galon up in this tundra.  I was getting a headache - is that the first stage of snow blindness?  Can you go snow blind in white-out conditions?  I guess it wouldn't be a true Minnesota visit without a blizzard!

Blizzard Ordered up for Final Departure

Dear Diary,

Mathematically, 24 degrees may be only ten degrees less than 34 degrees, but my body senses are pretty sure there is a more exponential difference in coldness.  The squirrels, here, come in more colors that back in California:  Gray, Red and Black.  I like the red ones best.  White stuff (kept clean for my younger audience) is falling from the sky and the ground is covered in it.  This is not ideal for traveling.  We are madly rerouting our travel plans to skirt as much of this blizzard-like weather as possible.  I am thankful my hubby bought a 4-wheel-drive vehicle.  I no longer feel that it was a silly thing to do.  My last dinner in Minnesota consisted of Walleye.  It was too good to describe.  For dessert - squash cake.  Yes, it is what it sounds like.  I was skeptical until I had some and then I ate myself sick on it.  Bon Voyage, Minnesota.  If we're lucky we'll be in a different state before dark.

Fresh Fish for Dinner

Dear Diary,

My tummy has never been happier.  I have been eating fresh, harvested veggies from my aunt's garden and fresh caught meat from . . . well, my hunter relatives have hooked me up.  Tonight, I'm having what my California self misses most - fresh water fish.  I will be drooling all day in anticipation.  Do they make bibs for adults?  My walk in the rain (for the third day in a row) brought out some new wildlife.  The biggest earth worms, ever, were all over the roadway.  My first thought was 'fish bait.'  That seems to be my theme for the day.  As I prepare to head back to California, soon, I started thinking I should take up ocean (beach) fishing.  I will also aspire to have a bigger garden next spring.  Perhaps I'll even manage to outwit those darn snails - who ate all my green beans and peppers this year.  Regardless, I am antsy to get back home and try out all the new things I have learned about food.

Coffee Saves Lives

Dear Diary,

I am staying in a house with three heavy coffee drinkers.  They are on their fourth coffee machine in three weeks.  The first three have been fried by overuse.  The third machine conked out before the morning coffee was doled out and desperation led to coffee cooked in a soup pot.  We ran to Target at 7:45am to save the day.  It has become a daily ritual to see three deer during my walks.  This morning, I took a different route and they still found me.  They wave their puffy white tails in a friendly 'hello' as they bound off into the woods to play.  I performed my therapeutic wood stacking ceremony, this morning and the pouring rain helped by cleaning off all the dirt for me.  Mother Nature can be so thoughtful that way.  I have worn the same four outfits over and over for the last three weeks and am ready for a change.  I think I'll go perform a shopping ceremony now.

Winter is Coming

Dear Diary,

I am still in Minnesota.  I even put on some long underwear and canoed the Mississippi River - twice!  Although the temp wasn't really warm, we watched the sun rise from the canoe and sat there in the peace only nature can provide.  Two bald eagles took off from the trees, together, and it felt so nice.  I also went to a hockey game.  I guess I'm getting closer to the natives . . . at dinner last night, conversation was all about hunting deer, catching fish and some kind of fowl.  I didn't even fall asleep.  After two weeks of eating deer meat, I am beginning to think I like it.  If I wasn't heading home soon, I might even consider trying to get one of my own.  Man, I REALLY need to head back to California.  I think I'm reverting back to being a Minnesota gal.  I need to hit the road - and soon.  Winter is coming.

Legacy in Me

Dear Diary,

My father's funeral was yesterday.  I was completely overwhelmed by all the people that were there.  All the seats were filled and late comers were left standing in the hall.  So many introduced themselves to me; as they said their names, forgotten childhood memories of them resurfaced in my mind.  The positive energy that flowed from all these people stunned me.  So many stories of how caring and giving my dad was threw me because I struggled so much trying to communicate with and understand my dad as I grew up.  At the reception, I made an effort to sit at every table for a few minutes.  The wonderful stories shared about my dad made me realize something . . . something big.  I didn't just get my dry wit and sense of humor from my father.  His legacy gave me something more.  My dad had a heart of gold.  I always thought my bleeding heart was a weakness within me.  Yesterday, I realized I was wrong.  NOBODY would have called my dad weak; not even at the end when he was suffering most.  My dad gave me a heart that cares about others and that burning need to help out.  I am proud to be my father's daughter and I will never forget this last lesson that he taught me through all the great people he left behind.

Snow on My Tongue

Dear Diary,

Cold, white stuff fell from the sky, yesterday.  I can no longer deny that I am in the Northland.  I let the flakes fall on my tongue and melt . . . my tummy fluttered from the coldness . . . I'm calling it nostalgia.  I went bowling, last night.  Not much else to do in this frozen mecca.  I bowled a strike in the last frame, two seconds after the computer shut down.  I have witnesses . . . really!   Back home, signs are in English and Spanish.  Here, they are in English and Ojibwe.  What a great way for our society to teach children a second language.  I should be trilingual by the time I return home.  Enough to let you know if a store is opened or closed, anyway.  I saw ANOTHER deer on my walk, this morning.  He walked out in front of me, looked at me, lifted his head, then turned tail and bolted.  I guess I looked suspicious.  My nephew won a rifle at the local grocery store.  That NEVER would happen at home.  I am in a completely different world, up here.  I still love the mornings on the river, the best.  That I will, indeed, miss.

Frozen Cheeks

Dear Diary,

The 'unusually warm weather for this time of year'" has taken a turn  for the worst.  I have caved into wearing long underwear.  My walk this morning was the shortest, yet.  Temp was 33 degrees, but wind chill dropped that to something below freezing.  I think I frostbit my face even though I was wearing a scarf.  Is it ok for my cheeks and nose to feel numb?  I am ready to travel back to California.  I miss . . . well . . . everything about being back in Monterey.  I am still eating venison . . . I even watched it getting ground into bits for consumption.  Freshest meat we've ever had.  I think my canine teeth are getting longer.  I received a picture from my niece, yesterday.  She sent it from Minnesota to California, where it was then forwarded back to me in Minnesota.  The wood stove heats the house we are staying in to about 85 degrees; so as long as I don't step outside it feels great.  I should have brought shorts with, after all.  Do you think my aunt would install an indoor pool for me?  I miss swimming and biking and am going though junk food withdrawal.  I have eaten so much healthy food, here, I'm worried I may have to actually start cooking when I get home.  Well, its time to get back out in the cold and go for another walk <shiver>.  Maybe I'll even help stack some wood.

Fish-belly Complexion

Dear Diary,

I have been away from California for 2 weeks now.  I look in the mirror and my skin is turning fish-belly white - more assimilation towards Minnesota skin?  I do have rosy cheeks; I'm guessing its the cold air.  I walk several pieces of the Mississippi River Trail each day.  By the time I leave here, I should have walked all seventeen miles around the lake.  I bought new running shoes, not sure why.  I looked at a couch to 5K program . . . it looked interesting . . . then I closed the app.  The deer, here, are 3 times bigger than those back home.  Wondering why those deer hunters can't get one, as I see several every day.  My aunt offered me tickets to a hockey game . . . could be fun . . . but even the sports events here are cold.  I'm told the weather is unusually warm right now.  By whose standards?  Did I mention I bought a winter coat?  Well, The Price is Right is on, so I have to concentrate on winning a new car.  I did 6,000 steps already, today, so I figure one TV show should be OK.

Losing Dad

Dear Diary,

My dad is dying.  There is nothing funny or witty that I can say about it.  Cancer sucks.  I travelled over 2,000 miles to watch him 'pass away'.  Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have this opportunity to say goodbye.  I've said it.  Day after day after day.  Hospice care is not a 24 hour nurse at your house.  It's family doing 24 hour care with a nurse here for one hour, three days a week.  Questions are to a hotline that actually helps only 33% of the time.  I'm the kind of person that has to fix things and I can't fix this.  I try lessening the burden for my sister and step-mom as they provide dad's care.  My chest burns as my brother struggles through his tears . . . dad was the world to him.  Dad no longer understands what is going on around him and the last time he spoke with me in the room was when he asked us all if he was dying.  My brave, younger sister was the one to tell him the truth as we all let our tears flow.  His response to why was, "how the hell did that happen?"  Still my dad to the end.  He's in there somewhere waiting to 'go home.'  We tell him we're ready and we wait.  I lie about my readiness every day because I'd rather lose him than watch him suffer this way. My dad needs some peace.  My family needs some peace.  I need some peace.  Maybe I'm not lying anymore when I say I am ready.  I love you, dad, and I always will.

Green Olives Make Me Happy

Dear Diary,

I'm thinking I went back in time; we stacked wood today.  Back home, fires are bad.  We heard gunshots of either three hunters or one really lousy shooter.  So far my orange toe nail polish seems to be working.  My grandfather told me I was barely recognizable with all my gray hair.  I guess tact goes out the window when your 91!  I googled things to do in Bemidji and it turns out we've already exhausted the list.  Beer here is of the thin (Bud Light) variety - aren't they worried about it freezing?  My hubby is going through IPA withdrawal and it makes him cranky.  On the bright side, I got green olives on my pizza today!  Yum!

Deer Season Opener

Dear Diary,

The sky is clear and the lake is calm.  I see the sun, today, but the temperature is below freezing - what's up with that?  On our morning coffee run there were no humans to be seen.  I was thinking zombie apocalypse but the barista says it's the opener for deer hunting season.  The locals believe wearing orange protects you - a lucky rabbits foot kind of thing.  Do you think my orange toe nail polish counts?  I love staying at my Aunt's house - she gets up as early as I do.  I don't have to tip-toe silently for four hours before human conversation is allowed.  Thinking of learning to play the accordion - where did that come from?  I need to stop breathing this Minnesota air!

Where has all the Sunshine Gone?

Dear Diary,

I don't remember the last time I've seen the sun.  I'm so cold I had to buy a hat and there was only this Scandinavian version . . . I ate eleven kinds of lefsa, last night.  Spellcheck doesn't even recognize 'lefsa' as a word.  All I hear on the radio is tips on shooting Bambi.  OMG, I ate Bambi!  Twice!  Diary, I think something's wrong, 'cause I liked it.  I look at the river each morning and it calms me.  Do you think those trumpet swans will stick around?  There sure is a lot of water here.  People have green lawns.  I walked the old "indian" trail, yesterday.  No bears were detected.  I'm worried, Diary, we looked at houses!  Am I assimilating?  Or is nostalgia setting in?  Crap it's cold.  I've been watching TV too.  Who knew there was a 24 hour western channel?  When I change it, I get strange people in orange.  They seem to be stalking Bambi's papa.  Warm shirts from California aren't warm in Minnesota.  I had to buy new clothes.  I bought a Vikings jersey.  Yep, I am assimilating.  Too cold to worry about it today . . . maybe tomorrow.