Leaves

Dear Diary,

The people that owned my home before me did some very strange stuff to the inside, but I can not fault them for the garden they left behind for me on the outside.  I have apples, pears, lemons, and figs.  I have since killed off the onions and asparagus plants they left behind.  I did plant my own artichokes, and am on my fourth year with the same plants - they seem to get bigger each year.  I have failed at tomatoes, beans, peas, and carrots. Then there are all those flowers.  I have no clue what they are, but they've grown on their own with no help from me.  I try hard to have a green thumb, but I've learned that the only kind of green that I do well with is the green that grows in spite of me.  I toy with the idea of building a greenhouse.  I'm sure my plants would do better if I could prevent all those darn snails from taking over.  I manage to keep them at bay for a few weeks and then miss a de-snailing ceremony once, and they annihilate my plants overnight.  They are evil creatures and I fail to see their purpose in my world.  What eats snails?  My cat and dogs sure don't.  They just bring them in the house and spread that slimy grossness across my floors.  I can have a leafy green plant one day, and a devastated stick left the next.  I am declaring war on those snails, this year.  This year, I will get my green peppers before they do.  Even if I have to plant copper piping in every inch of my yard, I will find a way to defeat those leaf eaters.  It's time for me to take control of the great garden that was left for me and make it even greater.